life is not always beautiful

i'm so damn pissed with myself... why am i allowing them to hinder me from doing the things that i want?!?!? putang takte!!!! nawibwisit na ako sa buhay ko!!!

i'm back to ranting... i used to rant because of so many things that I have to do and think about... now i'm pissed because of boredom and because I can't do what I want!!! Putang ina! kanino bang buhay to?! Buhay ko to?! Bakit ba kasi ang daming pakialamero sa mundo?!!! I'm an adult for crying out loud!!! why can't I just do the things I want and to hell with the people around me? Why can't they just support me in the things that I want to do instead of pushing me on doing things that they thinks is best for me? why?

AmI not allowed to make my own mistakes and learn from them?! Am I not allowed to start from the bottom and climb up from there? DO I always have to start from where they choose I start?! Do I always have to do what they're telling me to do? Why can't I just do what I want!??!?!?!?! Shit! I so hate myself right now!

I've always been for doing what you want and damn those who look down on you and think they're better than you because of the choices you made... Yeah sure I do sometimes succumb to the temptation of looking down on people... But I don't necessarily tell them to do this and do that because that would be better for them... I SUGGEST the possible things that they can do to better their lives or whatever... but I never interfere with their lives... Buhay nila yon, they make their own choices and they make their lives... They'll be the one living with the consequences of whatever it is they chose to do... NOT me...

So why aren't these people NOT leaving me alonE!!!! I know my own mind... although I may not know what I exactly want sometimes, I KNOW WHAT I DON'T WANT TO DO!

A day, a week, a month, or a year from now... I might think differently from what I feel and wrote today... but as of now... that's what I think and feel...

why we celebrate father's day...

lam ko late na to, but still...

why do we celebrate father's day?

kasi kung di dahil sa mga tatay natin... we will be mere... REGLA ng nanay natin :D

kaya ipagdiwang natin ang ating mga ama!!! Salamat pa! because of you, hindi ako naging mens.
hahahahaha!!!

i miss softball!!!!

i miss playing softball so much!!!! the muddy and grass-stained clothes... the bruises (not so much)... playing with my teammates... catching ball... hitting balls... hehehe

i miss playing so much... i woke up with my left hand in the air... trying to catch a ball... hahhaha... ang masama pa dun... di ko nasalo!!!! shet! panaginip na nga lang di ko pa nakuha... leche...

the things I usually forget... [PART 1: BDAYS]

I am a forgetful person... I admit that... I am so forgetful that unless we have the same birthdate, or I lived with you during my formative years, I would probably NEVER remember your birthday... so [friends =)] please don't take it against me...

The reasons why I am able to greet SOME of my friends on their birthdays are:

• some of my friends' birthdays are stored in the calendar on my phone, and I usually set the phone to alarm at 12:01 AM of that particular date so that I'll be one of the earliest greeters... unfortunately, when I'm already asleep by that time, I sometimes do not hear the alarm and I just read the reminders on the morning... sometimes, even when I DO hear the alarm, I, unfortunately, do not always have a load to be able to text the person a happy birthday... so I usually put off greeting them some other day when I've already loaded my account, which, unfortunately, I always forget to do...
• someone reminds me that it is so-and-so's bday today, so I'm able to greet them on time... if not, i'll just add a "belated" to the greeting =)
• I accidentally see on one of the network accounts that I have that it is a friend's bday TODAY...
• if I happen to check my email on a particular day, www.birthdayalarm.com and www.ringo.com reminds me that it is someone's bday a few days from that day... sometimes I do send an E-CARD immediatey... but usually I tend to procrastinate... and then... end up forgetting about it entirely...
• the bday celebrant invites me to a his/her party =)...

Lights and weight loss...

I JUST LOST 20 lbs!!!
jasssssssssssssssssssss kidddddinggggggggggggggggg!!!! hahahahaha!

i wish!!! hahay!

anyway... I do love lights behind me... especially at a particular distance... WHY?
because it makes my shadow appear leggy and slender! nyahahahaha!!!

why I don't enjoy driving... and why I enjoy bump cars...

hehehe... I'm taking driving lessons right now... due to my parents' insistence... as for me, I don't really care for learning the skill...

Of course I know that it's useful... but without a car to drive, what do I do with the skill? let it rust until I get my own car? besides, even if I do own the car, driving somewhere is not that cheap! you'd have to pay not only for the gas but also for a parking space, and sometimes, even for the toll... I'd rather commute than drive... Driving an automatic is fine... but driving a manual is frustrating!!! especially with the kind of traffic here in Manila... you're forever stuck in the first gear and neutral if you're soooooo lucky... hehehe...

actually, the reason why I don't enjoy driving, besides the expense, is because I can't simply hit people who are in my way... I have to be a responsible driver and veer away from those who aren't that careful when they're walking the streets...

On my first day, while I was driving, and the instructor was telling me what gears to use and what pedals to press, people were just crossing the street everywhere. It was around 7am and most people were out jogging... (I'm learning how to drive in Subic, by the way).... Anyway, I really had the urge to ask my instructor: Sir, can I hit just one person? please... Just ONE! I promise... hehehehe... This urge is usually strong near pedestrain lanes where there are law enforcers... hehehehe.. I really do wonder how it would feel to hit one reckless pedestrian or a condescending, arrogant law enforcer...

hahahay.. gotta fight the urge... gotta fight the urge!!!!

quote 6

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
-Agatha Christie

Totoo kaya 'to? hehehe if ever... finding one is not that easy... hehehe you'd have to be somewhere near undug bones and/or civilizations of the past to catch his eye... or you'd have to look like a relic yourself to attract him.. nyahahaha!

i hope i don't end up with an archaelogist... this post will hunt me if I do end up with one... but if the quote above is really true... then, I think I wouldn't really mind... XD.